07 . 04 . 2026
Last Sunday was my local EGL community's hanami picnic, and I chose to wear my Cherry Berry Bunny set by Angelic Pretty. It was my first ever dream dress, and I was lucky enough to get the full set only two years into wearing EGL, in 2011. It was a big commitment: with a jobless teenager's budget, owning a brand piece was a huge deal and a big financial investment. To this day, I still wear it regularly, I also believe this is the most expensive piece I own.
After returning home from the picnic, I had a bit of a shock when seeing this photo another member had taken: it's a shot of our group with my back turned to the camera. It immediately gave me such strong déjà vu, and I quickly figured out why. Wearing a dark brown wig, a light colored blouse, a red head accessory, and my Cherry Berry Bunny JSK, I looked exactly identical to one of the very few photographs still remaining from my early EGL days.
Like many teenagers, I loathed my appearance so much- I took very few pictures of myself, and when my friends took any, I would try to convince them to delete it all. For this reason, despite wearing EGL every single day through the entirety of highschool, I only have a handful of pictures from that time.
2012 feels like an entire lifetime away, because it sort of is. I hadn't even begun to really live back then, I was a little shut-in who only socialized once a year, in July, when I'd visit Paris for the Japan Expo convention, which was the weekend during which this photo was taken, when my online friends introduced me to Princess Crêpe. It was one of my very first social outings, ever.
And yet, the silhouettes are so identical, down to the cross-body strap from an Angelic Pretty bag, although they are different ones. It made me feel a little lightheaded, but also happy. That 14 years old Yule is still with me, in a way. I always find comfort in thinking about how 14 years old me would be positively astounded to see my life right now. How I've evolved within EGL, the big city I moved to, the many friends I made. I love this picture.
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12 . 03 . 2026
My first entry! Maybe a good place to explain why this website exists in the first place.
Other than the very much expected growing fatigue and disgust towards oversanitized overmonetized AI-polluted influencer-driven impersonal modern social platforms all my peers have also been experiencing, I have realized there is another reason. I want to archive my EGL journey in one place. I want this crucial part of my existence to be documented. It has made my life so much better. I would not be alive to write this if not for EGL.
But as excruciating as it is to admit, I will not be wearing EGL forever.
I started wearing EGL fashion at 13 years old. I am 30 years old as of writing this. I know, I know, "fashion has no age", "clothes have no gender", etc. Those are all principles I wholeheartedly agree with. But the reality is, this is far easier to apply to elegant older women, and attractive young men. I am not a woman, and I will not be young forever. I could be selfish, and delude myself into thinking no one will have a problem with an old man in a dress hanging out with young women. But this is not reality, and EGL has brought me too much joy to repay it by making the new generations uncomfortable with my presence.
As of right now, this is how I picture my future: I will continue to show my love for EGL by sewing dresses for other people, while I slowly transition into a more age-appropriate gender-appropriate wardrobe for myself. Probably more refined ouji, historically-inspired styles, and, if I can afford it, I would love to get into male kimono fashion. If I can dress like Itoshiki Nozomu in my middle-aged era, I would feel less heartbroken over having to abandon wearing frilly dresses.
⊰════════════════════════════════════════════════⊱
Last Sunday was my local EGL community's hanami picnic, and I chose to wear my Cherry Berry Bunny set by Angelic Pretty. It was my first ever dream dress, and I was lucky enough to get the full set only two years into wearing EGL, in 2011. It was a big commitment: with a jobless teenager's budget, owning a brand piece was a huge deal and a big financial investment. To this day, I still wear it regularly, I also believe this is the most expensive piece I own.
After returning home from the picnic, I had a bit of a shock when seeing this photo another member had taken: it's a shot of our group with my back turned to the camera. It immediately gave me such strong déjà vu, and I quickly figured out why. Wearing a dark brown wig, a light colored blouse, a red head accessory, and my Cherry Berry Bunny JSK, I looked exactly identical to one of the very few photographs still remaining from my early EGL days.
Like many teenagers, I loathed my appearance so much- I took very few pictures of myself, and when my friends took any, I would try to convince them to delete it all. For this reason, despite wearing EGL every single day through the entirety of highschool, I only have a handful of pictures from that time.
2012 feels like an entire lifetime away, because it sort of is. I hadn't even begun to really live back then, I was a little shut-in who only socialized once a year, in July, when I'd visit Paris for the Japan Expo convention, which was the weekend during which this photo was taken, when my online friends introduced me to Princess Crêpe. It was one of my very first social outings, ever.
And yet, the silhouettes are so identical, down to the cross-body strap from an Angelic Pretty bag, although they are different ones. It made me feel a little lightheaded, but also happy. That 14 years old Yule is still with me, in a way. I always find comfort in thinking about how 14 years old me would be positively astounded to see my life right now. How I've evolved within EGL, the big city I moved to, the many friends I made. I love this picture.
⊰════════════════════════════════════════════════⊱
12 . 03 . 2026
My first entry! Maybe a good place to explain why this website exists in the first place.
Other than the very much expected growing fatigue and disgust towards oversanitized overmonetized AI-polluted influencer-driven impersonal modern social platforms all my peers have also been experiencing, I have realized there is another reason. I want to archive my EGL journey in one place. I want this crucial part of my existence to be documented. It has made my life so much better. I would not be alive to write this if not for EGL.
But as excruciating as it is to admit, I will not be wearing EGL forever.
I started wearing EGL fashion at 13 years old. I am 30 years old as of writing this. I know, I know, "fashion has no age", "clothes have no gender", etc. Those are all principles I wholeheartedly agree with. But the reality is, this is far easier to apply to elegant older women, and attractive young men. I am not a woman, and I will not be young forever. I could be selfish, and delude myself into thinking no one will have a problem with an old man in a dress hanging out with young women. But this is not reality, and EGL has brought me too much joy to repay it by making the new generations uncomfortable with my presence.
As of right now, this is how I picture my future: I will continue to show my love for EGL by sewing dresses for other people, while I slowly transition into a more age-appropriate gender-appropriate wardrobe for myself. Probably more refined ouji, historically-inspired styles, and, if I can afford it, I would love to get into male kimono fashion. If I can dress like Itoshiki Nozomu in my middle-aged era, I would feel less heartbroken over having to abandon wearing frilly dresses.
⊰════════════════════════════════════════════════⊱
